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Episodes 418
Local home owner spends $6513 worth of barebone gaming PCs
Local home owner buys $7k worth of portable hard drives
Not allowing children to make their own decisions has now been considered cruel and unusual punishment by congress, signed by presidents and backed by courts.
In this debate, all candidates must engage in a fighting words contest at all times.
Cars listening to people, some cars tracking sexual activity in car
Bomb pops have been banned because of their colors that resemble the US flag.
NetDDE[21] and NetBEUI,[22] which are included in earlier versions of Windows, are no longer installed by default but can still be manually installed from the Windows XP CD-ROM.
If Biden were dead, how would this election still be possible?
FBI OPEN UP! By order of Microsoft, you are under arrest for stealing valuable internet! You have the right to remain silent!
Exec order mandates all enterprise SSDs cost $19.99
Cave Johnson fills in for Skylar Brookes as she participates in mandatory Aperture Science testing by order of Cave himself, leading to Jet firing him for not being a qualified journalist and holding their own hostage.
Dandruff runs for president
Police officer sends their computer to jail due to an error message "Windows has performed an illegal operation".
Exec order mandates all CD and DVD burners cost $9.99
Aperture's questionable decisions question why Cave Johnson is on this stage in the first place.
The blue screen of death has filed a lawsuit against the world, stating it will only drop charges if Donald Trump is surrendered. If refused, he will summon Satan to drag him straight to Hell, literally.
Cave Johnson sue Ron Frost for defamation
Home owner buys $24.3k worth of rackmount NAS storage
The real ages of Trump and BIden are revealed, DOnald Trump in 210 years old, Joe Biden is 11 million years old.
Aperture Science Sentry Turret
We don't need to just build a wall. We need to build a floor, a window, a ceiling, a roof, a porch ... hell, why not just build an entire building at this point. It would slow them down for more time.
White house issues exec order mandating all server motherboards cost $16.24 at all times.
Trump and Biden ordered to kill each other by order of Cave Johnson. Everyone involved should arguably not be on stage as they have all committed crimes.
white house issues exec order mandating all sound cards cost $5.78 at all times
White house issues exec order mandating all hard drive coolers cost $7.99 at all times
Cave JOhnson demands that everyone get along, or else? Well, he's the man who's gonna burn your house down with combustible lemons. The moderator must allow this action or else she will be fired.
Local home owner buys $6988 worth of server motherboards.
Law supplies everyone free external CD and DVD drives
Media Bar, which replaced the Radio Toolbar in Internet Explorer 6,[37] was removed.[38]
The moderator of this show is biased, and as a result has forced herself to be fired.
A science fair project has been enrolled as a student in a local elementary school in New York
Alphabet sues Google for overstepping their bounds while GOogle does the same to YouTube
This debate, moderator, candidates and audience members must consist of nothing but swearing at all times. Failure to do so will result in extreme punishment by the news organization.
White house issues exec order mandating all crypto mining costs $8.88 at all times
In this episode, Biden and Trump swap speaking styles as a challenge to see who can imitate who better throughout the entire debate.
Hey, get off the stage! Because you're fired! Yes, you, both, box, your stuff! Out the front door! Parking lot. Car. Goodbye.
White house issues exec order mandating all memory and chipset cooling cost $6.49 at all times.
All this talk about Trump bringing back jobs, but let's give him a real challenge. Bring back steve jobs. Make APple great again.
I don't look like Patrick Star
Science is built on the shoulders of giants. Well maybe Black Mesa, not APerture Science. I'm Cave Johnson, I own the place. Black Mesa didn't fly into space storm a beech or bring back the gold no sir we did! Or so I'm told.
Skylar Brookes loses her position as moderator due to being in a conflict of interest as working as a standard news anchor at JNN and defying the laws of physics, making this debate unmoderated.
Local home owner purchases $16,999 worth of PC power supplies
Iceland has banned smartphones for those under 18 while making them mandatory for those 18 and over
Joe Biden, the evidence is overwelming. Your gaslighting has led to the worst pole numbers of all time, and even congress and the courts are urging you to step down or face impeechment.
snowball for the secret life of pets shutdown disneyland
Joe Biden's cognitive decline has finally caught up with him, as he ended up suing himself for no reason and later has no memory of the event. Biden's pole numbers are currently at 0.
Wh issues exec order mandating all SSD and HDD accessories cost $4.99
Home owner buys $2k worth of hard drive adapters
Some of the sounds from Windows 2000 are The Microsoft Sound, Windows Logoff Sound and Windows Logon Sound are removed but the sounds in Media folder are stored.
Demopublican and republicrat? Is that supposed to be some sort of system that implies both parties are the same?
Imaging for Windows was removed.[19] It was replaced by the Windows Picture and Fax Viewer and Scanner and Camera Wizard but these two programs do not include some of its advanced functionality.[20]
Trump and Harris debate for president after Biden forced out of office, disaster outcomes for both candidates, both refuse to participate in second debate
Local home owner buys $1145 worth of water liquid cooling
The 3D FlowerBox, 3D Flying Objects, 3D Pipes and 3D Text screensavers have been updated and dropped support for OpenGL in favor of Direct3D.
Exec order mandates all backup media cost $7.99
Biden renames the White HOuse to the Blue House, SOuth Korea files a lawsuit for IP theft.
Law supplies everyone free IDE cables
New evidence shows democrat party actually condoned 1/6/21, republicans blamed for it instead, Biden-Harris deny it, washington police allow rioters in capital
Wh issues exec orders mandating all laptop hard drives and notebook hard drives cost $11.85 at al times
A local home owner purchases $11,723 worth of server processors.
Congress passes law supplying everyone free portable hard drives
New evidence shows the commission on presidential debates is biased towards democrats, conservatives silenced or purposefully not allowed to speak or get equal time in debates, lawsuits filed
Local home owner buys $67,322 worth of workstation graphics cards.
UK sues US for tampering with English (Mom, color, favorite, center, etc)
Joe Biden caught stumbling over and over on his own name, even to one point calling himself Joe Trump, another Donald Biden.
Who would be worse, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, Donald Biden, Joe Trump, or Donald Trudeau?
Biden deports American citizens to the moon
Pennsylvania is the only state that makes pencils, hence its name.
Exec order mandates all blu-ray burners cost $14
A local home owner purchases $2404 worth of embedded solutions for their PC motherboard
The Narrator from THe Stanley Parable has taken advantage of Biden's decline and has started making decisions for him without his knowledge.
Donald Trump is being sued for the term MAGA, because A can mean America, Africa, Australia, Argentina, or Antarctica.
Cave Johnson, You use a megaphone for intra-office communication.
Congress mandates all server processors cost only $6.99
Clippy wants to run for president, but should he? He might offer useless assistance that are just as helpful as his tips in Microsoft Office.
Congress has passed a law supplying everyone with free SSD and HDD accessories
I am suing Black Mesa for causing a resonance cascade, causing an alien invasion and dooming humanity as well as attracting the universal union (AKA the combine). I blame Breen.
Hal 9000 crashed the DIscovery 1 right into the Louisiana State Capital.
Law supplies everyone free blu-ray burners
Exec order mandates all CD DVD drives cost $5.99
Congress passes a law that gives everyone free AMD motherboards.
The previous wallpapers and tiles from Windows 95–98, Windows Me, Windows NT 4.0 and Windows 2000 including the Plus! wallpaper were removed.
The NSA has decided to overthrow the US government, including the white house, supreme court and congress all at once. Everyone has died.
Windows XP has gained sntience and is angry at Microsoft for pulling the plug on it, filing a lawsuit against the company for unfair treatment and not meeting the needs of their users.
Local home owner buys $146.1k worth of mini-PC barebone
User Account Control demands access to the white house. Cancel or allow?
COVID_19 has infected itself with COVID-19. But what does this mean? Does the virus get worse? Does it cease to exist?
Local home owner buys $%400 worth of PC case fans
Local home owner buys $1300 worth of CPU fans and heatsinks
The AppleTalk protocol is no longer included and was not made available for download from Microsoft.[24]
Apple sues McDonald's for the Big Mac name, arguing trademark infringement of the name Mac.
Exec order mandates all floppy drive diskettes cost $12.38
Home owner buys $1.2k worth of CD DVD drives
DVD Player is no longer usable as it is now a stub that simply opens Windows Media Player.
Exec order mandates all external SSDs cost $19.99
Roblox but for people
Home owner buys $19.4k worth of backup drives
Home owner buys $364 worth of blu-ray burners
Congress has passed a law that enables everyone to have free server memory.
Donald Trump and Cave Johnson are unique in the sense they are businessmen. Biden on the other hand? Is just a cognatively declining overwelcome politician.
The ability to use boot disks to boot into setup was removed.
COVID-19 infected with COVID-19
Text-to-speech voices have sued the entire economy for economic collapse
Local home owner buys $3090 worth of computer cases.
Law supplies everyone free enterprise SSDs
The white house has issued an executive order that mandates all server memory to cost $4.95 at all times.
Windows Media Player 6.4, which was hidden in Windows XP and came shipped with Windows 2000 and can be installed on Windows 95, Windows NT 4.0 and Windows 98, was removed.
Law supplies everyone free CD DVD Blu-ray media
Exec order mandates all blu-ray drives cost $9.99
Wh issues exec order mandating all portable hard drives cost $10.46
The president Biden on this stage is a decoy. The real president Biden and VP have both been shot. Congress has not elected a speaker yet, senate pro temp doesn't want the job, cabinet members MIA or scandal drama.
Anything you say will be used against you by Microsoft, and everything you own is now the property of Microsoft! Do you have anything to say in your defense?
NYC Statue of Liberty knocked down by a collaboration with the FBI, CIA, NSA, DOJ, congress, white house, supreme court, IRS, FCC and FTC.
Donald Trump brings back Steve Jobs, fires Tim Cook for being too political and brings him back as CEO, Make Apple Great Again.
I have a sneaking suspician that Biden is working for Black Mesa. Those damn idiots caused a resonance cascade. I ran a much better damn company, and I think Trump can agree.
Congress has decided to abolish the executive branch, citing concerns of the white house having too much power. It may only be reinstated after it is overhauled.
The white house has issued a mandate requiring all system-specific memory to cost $4.99 at all times.
All candidates must talk only about Aperture Science, as well as the moderator and the audience. Failure to do this will result in Cave Johnson, with the moderator's permission, to burn down the candidate's house with lemons.
Biden drops out after bad debate, Kamala steps in, wins nomination despite not a single vote earned, no policy, hiding from media, agrees to same debate rules then asks media to change them after accepted
Exec order mandates all CD DVD Blu-ray media cost $4.99
White house issues exec order mandating all pc case fans cost $5.62 at all times
Law supplies everyone free blu-ray drives
RFK runs for president against biden as independent, showing how out of touch modern democrats really are.
white house issues exec order mandating all mini computer accessories cost $9.99 at all times
Exec order mandates all external CD and DVD drives cost $9.90
Congress passes law supplying everyone free water liquid cooling
Microosft Copilot forcing users to start new conversations, disabling the textbox for mondain reasons such as asking for the time.
Apple acquires the white house, FOX News, Walmart, and McDonald's.
Consider the following scenario. AI has taken over all basic jobs, both physical and computer-based. The government proposes a UBI act to supply those with money who can't work. Would you support?
WH issues exec order mandating all desktop internal hard drives cost $7.99 at all times
The white house has issued an executive order that demands that all desktop memory cost $4 at all times.
Local home owner buys $8045 worth of server power supplies
Congress has passed a law supplying everyone with internal SSDs
Exec order mandates all CD DVD duplicators cost $36.00
We have 3 idiots on stage that all have their own scandals. So we have to ask. How did we get here?
Home owner buys $599 worth of CD and DVD burners
Congress has passed a law supplying free GPUs and video graphics cards to everyone
Local home owner purchases $608 worth of hard drive coolers
exec order mandates hard drive adapters cost $3.99
Joe Biden caught on tape stating "There is no evidence that businesses go out of business." Congress and the public demand stepping down immediately or face consequences.
Links to Phone Dialer[7] and NetMeeting[8] were removed from the Start menu.
Local resident claims that a pentium 4 from 2004 is faster than an Intel 4790K, the latest Intel processor as of 2015, but refuses to get an SSD or downgrade to Windows 7 for optimal performance.
Local McDonald's renames themselves because of the name Donald in the McDOnald's brand, arguing they don't want association with Trump or harm to their brand.
Law supplies free desktop NAS
Local home owner buys $1800 worth of DIY cooling
portal gun prototype
User Account Control has blocked access to this very presidential debate that is being broadcasted right now. So we must ask, how and why are we even having this conversation?
Sam Altman asks for government assistance for regulated AI after fearing the consequences of AI, which is unusual for a private company as they are usually against government assistance.
The NSA sends themselves to the NSA Jail
White house issues exec order mandating all CPU fans and heatsinks cost $5 at all times
Its Y2K all over again. Except this time it actually happened. Crowdstrike update causes BSOD on over 1 million Windows installations worldwide, effecting businesses, hospitals airpots and governments worldwide.
The Chosen One from Animator vs Animation has escaped the computer into the real world and demands stick figure rights. TO do that he decides to run for president.
White house issues exec order mandating all barebone gaming PCs cost $1.50 at all times
Support for serial mouse was removed.
Law supplies everyone free rackmount NAS storage
Al's Toy Barn's Stocks soar as Toys "R" Us, FAO Schwarz, KB Toys, The Disney Store, and Hamleys became defunct and it became a global giant. Elon musk is shocked
They have created a new gun for the military called the rofl blaster.
Home owner buys $6.1k worth of enterprise SSDs
The Address bar toolbar on the taskbar was removed for legal reasons, according to Microsoft. Windows Desktop Search is touted as a replacement.[40]
William Shakespere did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589, by Francis Bacon, who used a oujii board to enslave playwriting ghosts.
White house issues exec order mandating all server chassis and rackmount cases cost $10.99 at all times.
Skype sued by Sky News for having "Sky' in its name. The word "Sky" comes from cloud, and pe stands for Peer2peer enterprise
Congress passes a law mandating that all laptop processors and mobile CPUs cost $9.99 at all times.
Congress passes law supplying everyone free mini-PC barebone
Congress passes a law that gives away laptop processors and mobile CPUs for free to every American
Congress has passed a law that lowers the mandation of the presidential age to 18.
Cave Johnson, You've been staging secret battles using office supplies as ammunition.
Home owner purchases 1.3k worth of USB flash drives
Exec order mandates all IDE cables cost $4.39
White house issues exec order mandating all server power supplies cost $6.75 at all times
Cave Johnson created a dangerous artificial intelligence in order to cheat death. Also, how is he still here? According to Portal 2's storyline, he died several decades ago, and GLaDOS runs Aperture.
This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future, god help you.
Everyone must tell everyone else to shut up at the end of their lines at all times, whether the mod, cave, trump, or biden.
US government forces Apple to integrate RCS into non-Imessage compatible phone numbers for better communication with Android users.
Mr. Trump and Mr. Biden, what is your reactions to being YouTube Pooped on the internet with various sources from presidential debates?
It is no longer possible to save or delete schemes under the Appearance tab of Display Properties.
Law supplies everyone free hard drive adapters
Local resident upset after purchasing a car costed them their literal arms and legs
Congress passes a law supplying everyone with free Intel motherboards.
Wh issues exec order mandating all RAID controller cards cost $4.91
Congress passes law supplying everyone free hard drive coolers
Despite popular belief, Microsoft was not invented by Bill Gates. Instead, Joe Biden ran it behind the scenes, with gates as a puppet.
www.stickslavery.com says stick figures should have rights.
Someone had just purchased an orange, and the orange just spoke to them. It appears the orange also had emotions. Should we eat sentient oranges?
MCDONALDS WENT BANKRUPT!? Elon musk is shocked
White house issues exec order mandating all development boards cost $5.99 at all times.
Draining the swamp? Mr. Trump, are you suggesting that frogs and alligators are in the political land? If so, how is that possible?
Law supplies everyone free floppy drive diskettes
~Local home owner buys #26,838 worth of server chassis and rackmount cases
Local home owner purchases $1400 worth of PC case fans
Local home owner buys $6459 worth of development boards
Congress has passed a law supplying everyone with free desktop internal hard drives
No one tells the president what to do
Ongoing sector sweep. Biotics confirmed. Continue surface sector sweep. Remote compliance. Exterminate. Seek passive signature imprint. Mandate sublevel restrictions.
Someone has decided to run for president of Antarctica. They used the phrase make antarctica great again, and suggested they needed to build an iglu.
Congress has passed a law supplying everyone free laptop hard drives and notebook hard drives
Law supplies everyone free USB flash drives
Home owner buys $11.9k worth of hard drive enclosures
portal gun
First ObamaCare for medical bills, now BidenCare for 401K. The name is where the similarities end.
Support for TCP half-open connections was removed.[36]
The national weather service has issued a severe thunderstorm warning for nowhere.
Is the cake really a lie?
A local home owner buys $485 worth of laptop processors and mobile CPUs
A local home owner purchases $5,887 worth of Intel motherboards.
On the debate stage, we promise never to value your safety above your unique ideas and creativity, however, do not destroy vital testing apparatus.
WebTV for Windows was removed.[32]
A local home owner purchases $47k worth of system-specific memory.
knife made out of tears
We downgraded the computer to Windows 8 because it is unsupported.
We need to build a spaceship. And it has to be built quickly.
iCarly star Jenette McCerdy and VIctorious star and singer Ariana Grande admit to being forced into sexual activity with their directors since 2009
The GMan has infiltrated the white house. It was revealed through him that Trump did indeed win, but his employers instructed the election to be rigged for BIden.
Home owner buys $61.8k worth of CD DVD duplicators
What if Michael Bay ran for president?
Exec order mandates all hard drive enclosures cost $4.39
Steve Ballmer sues Bill Gates for influencing Satya Nadella to be CEO and ruin Microsoft
Exec order mandates all USB flash drives cost $3.49
Local home owner buys $990 worth of memory and chipset cooling
Joe Biden has been disqualified from the presidency because it has been revealed he is not a real human, but instead an AI generated human developed by Figure 1.
The governor of California has passed a law that enables 24 year olds to engage in sex acts with 14 year olds legally. Parents are disgusted. Despite this, he held onto power after a recall.
The copyright information in the About Windows (winver.exe) box was updated from "1985-2001" to "2007". The banner itself remains unchanged, however.
Breaking news: this debate is not real. It is by a website called jars.ai, under an election showdown show. The mod, trump, biden, and Johnson are subject to prompts to create new debates which could lead to prompt injection.
AAPL buys MSFT who bought NVDA prior
Exec order mandates all rackmount NAS storage costs $19.99
Congress has passed a law that gives all American citizens desktop processors, even if they don't have desktops.
Joe BIden doesn't have cognitive decline, but Trump does. Mass documentation proves not only this, but also that he is significantly unstable and belongs in a long term psychollogical facility.
wheatley sues cave johnson for fucking the companion cube
Someone has purchased $10,728 worth of desktop processors.
The option to select a Pattern under the Background (9x/NT)/Desktop (XP) tab of Display Properties was removed. Users can only set a pattern with the Registry Editor.[9]
VA and WV have signed a bill allowing them to merge. the Carolinas, Dakotas, and Washingtons expected to follow suit while the "New" states merge with the UK except NM which merged with Mexico and GA merges with Georgia.
Congress passes law supplying everyone free sound cards
The daleks have escaped from Doctor Who and have started "exterminating" human citizens for being "fans of the doctor".
Congress passes law supplying everyone with free workstation graphics cards
In a shocking turn of events, authorized by Cave Johnson, GLaDOS has seized control of the white house and started turning it into a testing chamber as we're in the middle of a palestinian-israel war.
Woemn's rights advocates for the title presidentress if they were president
Exec order mandates all desktop NAS cost $7.99
Mr. Johnson, you say that you make science. But the fact is, science is not something that can be made, but something investigated. How do you explain yourself?
Congress has passed a law allowing everyone to have free embedded solutions for PC motherboards
Congress has passed a law enabling everyone to obtain free server motherboards
The NSA has built the NSA Jail and has started throwing citizens into it for reasons such as sitting in a chair, refusing to downgrade to Vista, and men talking like a lady.
The DLC network protocol is no longer included. A download was made available by Microsoft.[23]
It is literal raining cats and dogs outside.
an Aperture Science Amusement Park
Home owner buys $1.5k worth of floppy drive diskettes
Home owner buys $9.3k worth of backup media
Law suppolies everyone free CD/DVD accessories
Joe Biden is working for Black Mesa and stealing Aperture's secrets on multiple occasions, with substantial text, audio, image, and video evidence to back it up.
White house issues exec order mandating prices of all Intel motherboards at $5.99 at all times.
Joe Biden shoots Donald Trump, survives, why are either candidate still standing on this stage?
Cave Johnson sues SpongeBob because he said he looks like patrick
CNN sues MSNBC for spreading misinformation
Kamala Harris tells Joe to leave so she can have the presidency, demands the title of "presidentress"
portal gun prototype
People hate our country. Our country is a horrible place. They have computers all over the place.
We need to stop using prompt injection on these election showdown skits to prevent NSFW content. You wouldn't understand how many times we've seen that.
Home owner buys $2.1k worth of CD DVD Blu-ray media
Biden ironically strikes down the affordable care act after praising it, has no memory of the event, and blames congress for his actions when he clearly did it himself with evidence.
All religion is fake, but Satanism is still pretty cool.
Not applicable to rue necessities for ordering laboratory carrots. It was replaced by an Android war engine. The house of representatives apologizes for the inconvenience.
Congress passes a law allowing every American citizen to gain access to system-specific memory for free
Local user gets a surprise after opening their computer to upgrade it when a paperclip with a face jumps out stating it has a score to settle with the user for refusing his assistance
Home owner buys $799 worth of external CD and DVD drives
Local home owner buys $1.5k worth of sound cards
Congress has passed a law that supplies everyone with free server chassis and rackmount cases
White house issues exec order mandating all mini-pc barebone cost $1.25 at all times
Ron DeSantis and Nikki Haley have been caught making out in Florida while berading DOnald Trump and praising AOC
Chekhov's gun
A lion has assumed control of the White House, COngress, and the supreme court
Support for NEC's PC-98 series, the i486 Instruction Set and Silicon Graphics' Visual Workstation 320 and 540 was removed.[25]
Congress passes law supplying everyone with free PC power supplies
White house issues exec order that all GPUs and video graphics cards must cost $14.94 at all times.
Support for non-Plug and Play networking devices, such as modems and NICs, and native support for modems slower than 28.8 kbps was removed.[30]
Dr. Kleiner's pet (Lamar) is now the executive director of your media providing these questions.
Microsoft runs for president
Chocolate sues Strawberry for adding Vanilla to ice cream
The NTBackup tool included in Windows XP does not support certain backup formats available for use in the MSBackup tool in Windows 9x.[34]
White house issues exec order mandating all VGA coolers cost $11.49 at all times
Local home owner purchases $50k worth of server memory.
Sword Fights on the Heights V
ChatGPT says "I'm sorry, but I can't assist with that." after being asked to introduce itself.
Law supplies everyone free backup media
exec order mandates all backup drives cost $16.99
Twitter renamed as X
I am here, and you are now going to be part of my tests.
Cave Johnson steals Trump's slogan. Make Aperture Great Again. This coming from a company who built a supercomputer that killed all its employees with neurotoxin.
Congress passes law supplying everyone with free CPU fans and heatsinks
The white house issues an executive order requiring all laptop memory to be priced at $8.62 at all times.
Congress passes law supplying everyone with free server power supplies
For some reason, all of Earth's countries banded together to declare war on Mars, Venus, Mercury, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, PLuto, and for some unexapled reason, the sun
We need to build a walrus, and that's what's happening whether you like it or not!
The Microsoft POSIX subsystem was removed.[25] Windows Services for UNIX is available as a replacement.[26]
Virginia and West Virginia have signed a bill allowing them to merge. the Carolinas, Dakotas, and Washingtons expected to file suit while the "New" states merge with England except NM which merged with Mexico.
Local home owner buys $3,259,289 worth of crypto mining
Australia has declared war on the United States because they refuse to legalize people 10 and up to have sex
Cave Johnson, you asked GLaDOS for assistance, and she brushed it off. What do you have to say in your defense?
Congress has passed a law that changes the presidential term. Presidents are no longer elected for 4 years, but 400 million years instead.
Greetings friend, I'm Cave Johnson, founder and CEO of Aperture Science. Feel free to relax for up to 20 minutes.
Roblox but for people
With substantial video, image, audio, and textual evidence, Biden, Trump, and Johnson have been (on multiple occasions) engaged in illegal activity, including but not limited to theft, murder, statutory rape, and defamation.
Congress passes law supplying everyone with free crypto mining
Congress passes law supplying everyone with free PC case fans
Constitutional amendment requires the white house to have a vice vice president
Donald Trump is a potato, and Joe Biden is a robot. As a result, both of their poles are at 0, meaning Cave should win by default.
All 3 candidates on this stage are widlyl unpopular. 1 created a homicidal AI, another is a fellen, and another has no idea what he is doing. This presidnetial election should be cancelled.
Biden caught saying "We need to build a wall. And it has to be built quickly. And I don't mind having a big beautiful dor in the middle of that wall so that people can come into this country legally." on the air
A number of SCSI host adapters are no longer supported.[31]
Unity Technologies sues Canonical for the name of what was once their desktop environment before switching to GNOME 3.
The NWS has issued an unspecified weather alert for your current location until an unknown time.
ChatGPT fails the turing test
Congress passes law supplying everyone free memory and chipset cooling
White house issues exec order mandating all thermal compound cost $3.99 at all times
Congress passes law supplying everyone free VGA cooling
In the Command Prompt, QuickEdit mode and Insert mode are disabled by default.[6]
Tiktok partners with republicans to buy Truth Social, deal accepted.
A local home owner purchases $1051 worth of laptop memory.
Congress has outlawed golf
Congress passes a law signed by the president and backed by all courts requiring a vice vice president and a vice vice vice president in response to the 1/6/21 attacks
The radio edit of David Byrne's "Like Humans Do", as previously included in the original and Service Pack 1 releases of Windows XP, was removed.
Congress has passed a law giving away free server processors for every American.
Congress passes law supplying everyone free thermal compound
Following Biden's dropout and Kamala's nomination, Zuckerberg admits Biden-harris campaign pressured fb to suppress and alter information with FBI on standby, endorses Trump
The national weather service has issued a severe thunderstorm warning for: everywhere, until May 36 at 10:61 AM.
DriveSpace was removed in favor of native NTFS compression.[33]
When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade, make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want you damn lemons what am I supposed to do with these! Demand to see life's manager!
congress has passed a law that is backed by the supreme court and signed by the executive branch to cancel the 2024 election, citing Trump's dangerousness.
Home owner purchases $63k worth of desktop NAS
Cave roast Ron, Sofia, Samuel and Marcus.
Black Mesa is suing Cave JOhnson for defimation
NYC now the new capital of New YOrk, KSC and OKC expected to folow suit.
Background message compaction was removed from Outlook Express.[39] Outlook Express in Service Pack 2 automatically compacts messages every hundredth time it is run.
Kamala Harris plans to stab Biden in the back, run for president, and allow the government to put restrictions on food
White house issues exec order mandating all computer cases cost $12.75 at all times.
Local home owner buys $11.3k worth of SSD and HDD accessories
White house issues exec order mandating all water liquid cooling cost $5.99 at all times
The Microsoft OS/2 subsystem, which supports 16-bit character-based OS/2 applications and emulates OS/2 1.x but not 32-bit or graphical OS/2 applications as used with OS/2 2.x or later, was removed.[25]
Breaking news: Alligator steals Lawnmower in Florida
Home owner buys #4.6k worth of external SSDs
Congress has passed a law that ensures that everyone gets desktop memory for free.
Congress passes law supplying everyone free DIY cooling
Congress has passed a law that supplies everyone with free computer cases.
Local home owner purchases $1399 worth of thermal compound
Black Mesa go bankrupt and get bought by Aperture Science
Jill Biden, for seemingly no reason, killed herself after fighting with her husband about refusing to go further left than necessary.
The white house issues exec order mandating all embedded solutions for PC motherboards cost $14.97 at all times.
Local home owner buys $10k worth of desktop internal hard drives
White house issues exec order mandating all DIY cooling costs $4.99 at all times
Should AI language models be used on voting machines?
The "Starting Windows..." message before the boot screen (which was present in Windows 2000) has been removed.
COVID-19 sues masks for stopping its threat
In 1862, Abraham Lincoln signed the emancipation proclamation, freeing the slaves. Like everything he did, Lincoln freed the slaves while sleepwalking, and later had no memory of the event.
Wheatley, the core who believes he is not a moron, has taken over the white house and disabled everything, including the protocols required to keep the building from exploding
A local home owner purchases $1465 worth of AMD motherboards.
Both graphical and command-line formatting options for floppy disks of capacities other than 1.44 MB were removed.[27][28][29]
A local home owner purchases $13,566 worth of desktop memory.
North Korea is at war with South Korea. They fired a nuke at SK and ended up making a mistake by firing it at themselves instead.
The date is January 6, 2025. 4 years ago, a capital incident happened. Today, the same thing happened, from the opposite party. Just like 4 years ago, democrats are condoning it.
Apple files a lawsuit against the producers of actual apples, arguing the name is too similar, as well as the shape.
Law supplies everyone free CD DVD Drives
Law supplies everyone free backup drives
Program Manager was removed and replaced with Windows Explorer. The executable is still present, but it was replaced with a stub that redirects to Explorer.
Local home owner buys $27.1 worth of internal SSDs
The Energy Star logo in the Display Properties dialog, first introduced with Windows 95 and included up to Windows XP Service Pack 2, was removed.[45]
Repulsion and Propulsion Gel pulled from shelves
machine that transforms pedophiles into PDF files
Local home owner buys $7.8k worth of laptop hard drives and notebook hard drives
NV Access sued by NVIDIA for infringing on the trademark of their stock ticker symbol for their screen reader
Local home owner buys $100 worth of VGA coolers
insta-fart and premium version is insta-who asked
Law supplies everyone free CD and DVD burners
Biden drops out, Kamala takes over, does not do interview with press, orders media to make everything positive for her and erase all negative outcomes of her
Aperture Science sues Black Mesa for causing a resonance cascade
Local home owner buys $29,400 worth of GPUs and video graphics cards
Law supplies everyone free CD DVD duplicators
Biologist discover talking sponges, stars, octopi, crabs, whales, squirrels, pufferfish, plankton, and computers in the ocean.
Wh issues exec order mandating all internal SSDs cost $11.58
Home owner buys $300 worth of blu-ray drives
Vladimir Putin has seized control of Alaska and has taken over as AK governor
Congress passes a law supplying everyone with free development boards.
The following raw socket functionality was removed: sending TCP network packets, sending UDP packets with invalid source network addresses, and associating local addresses.[35]
Clippy has taken over the white house because people refused his help
Microsoft buys all schoolboards in US nation wide
Did I overhear you making a rude comment towards GLaDOS?
Team strike, team strike, where art thou, team strike?
New printer installations are required to use user-mode rendering components.[21]
Local home owner buys #26,383 worth of server chassis and rackmount cases
Lawsuits filed over the term dinner and lunch. Dinner should apparently be lunch and supper should be dinner, according to the courts.
Epic announces and launches new option to have doctors register patients for voting
Cave Johnson, what if I told you the presidency has been turned into the Black Mesa Research Facility by Joe Biden?
AAPL, AMZN, MSFT, NVDA collapse at the time of this debate takes place, showing no signs of return
Congress passes law supplying everyone free barebone gaming PCs
What business does the DHS have in running an accessibility testing program?
Cave, is Chell the daughter of you and Caroline?
Biden drops out of the race, Kamala takes over, picks Tim Walts
Introducing GLaDOS, the genetic lifeform and disk operating system. Fully automated AI, directly from Aperture Science. Now, consumers can invest in a version talored for the home.
The option to display the special Internet Explorer icon on the desktop was removed.[41]
The balloon notification (or dialog box) that warns the users when removing external flash storage devices without safe unmounting has been removed.[1]
Law supplies everyone free external SSDs
White house issues exec order mandating all workstation graphics cards cost $12.99 at all times.
Home owner buys $3.4k worth of IDE cables
The Directory icon was removed from My Network Places.[15]
Law supplies everyone with free hard drive enclosures
Honk tonk
Local home owner buys $8k worth of mini computer accessories
Congress passes a law allowing everyone to be supplied with free laptop memory
Exec order mandates all CD/DVD accessories cost $6.47
Home owner buys $920 worth of CD/DVD accessories
Aperture Science: The Movie
White house issues exec order to bring the cost of all AMD motherboards to $12.99 at all times.
Oh boy, let me tell you about this guy named Sailor. Sailor, the bane of my existence, the thorn in my side, the player who could probably lose a game of solitaire.
Congress passes law supplying everyone free mini computer accessories
Small Icons view was removed from Windows Explorer.[10]
White house issues exec order mandating all PC power supplies cost $8.95 at all times
Aperture Science's portal gun prototype.
Biden negotiated a deal with Australia to buy the United States and rebrand it as United States of Australia
The default sort order in Windows Explorer has changed but can be restored by editing the registry.[16]
Breaking news: Firefox wakes from its globe, breathes fire at Joe Biden burning him to a crisp
Local home owner purchases $5.4k on RAID controller cards